“Gossip is spread by wicked people; they stir up trouble and break up friendships.” Proverbs 16:28
I think that real community and real fellowship is where a lot of churches fail. None of us are perfect and our flaws are only multiplied where we gather in large groups such as in a church. This is why it’s important to find small groups within our churches where we can belong.
It’s difficult for people to adhere to all nine characteristics of biblical fellowship that Rick Warren describes: authenticity, mutuality, sympathy, mercy, honesty, humility, courtesy, confidentiality and frequency. It’s a long list, and the larger the group the better the chances that not everyone will be on board, plus as humans even with the best of intentions we may not achieve our goals.
But while we cannot account for others’ thoughts and actions we need to focus on attaining these traits ourselves. It’s similar to being a great friend or spouse. If we try our best to be a good friend, in many instances our friends will be good friends in return. When we are good spouses, our spouses reciprocate too most of the time. Even a small action like a smile will usually give us another smile in return. It seems very hard for people to see someone smile at them and for them to continue frowning. That frown almost always melts into a smile. It’s just as contagious as a yawn. This is what we need to strive for in our churches and it starts with our own selves and one small group at a time.
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